Developing Healthy Attitudes

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Healthy Relationships

Overview

The types of relationships we have impact on all areas of our lives whether these are family relationships, friendships, relationships with people in authority, relationships with people in organisations we belong to or young people’s intimate partner (boyfriend or girlfriend) relationships.

It is important that all members of a school community (staff, volunteers, parents/carers and pupils/students) have a clear understanding of what constitutes a healthy relationship.

What makes a healthy relationship?

  • Fairness/equality.
  • Separate identities.
  • Good communication.
  • A sense of playfulness/fondness.
  • Mutual respect.
  • Trust.
  • Honesty.
  • Support.

Unfortunately we know that there are many adults, children and young people in Sheffield that are experiencing unhealthy relationships where people are bullied, controlled or abused.

People don’t always recognise that the relationship is unhealthy, or if they do they may not know what to do about it. They may not realise there is support available or if they do, they may not have the confidence to ask for help. Some adults or children and young people experience threats or intimidation which can mean they are less likely to come forward. Or they are frightened that they will not be believed or are worried about what will happen next. For some people cultural barriers can increase fear and isolation, although it’s important to remember not to make generalisations.

Abuse can take place in all communities and in same sex or heterosexual relationships.

Think about how you can incorporate healthy relationships in:

  • curricular or non-curricular activity.
  • your code of conduct.
  • PSHE provision.
  • sex and relationship education or equivalent.

Key Facts

Unhealthy relationships are relationships in which physical, sexual, psychological, financial or emotional abuse take place. Many unhealthy relationships can be avoided by helping children and young people to develop skills to create healthy relationships and by teaching them to recognize the signs of unhealthy relationships.

Signs of an unhealthy relationship are where you:

  • Put one person before the other by neglecting yourself or your partner.
  • Feel pressure to change who you are for the other person.
  • Feel worried when you disagree with the other person.
  • Feel pressure to stop activities you usually/used to enjoy.
  • Pressure the other person into agreeing with you or changing to suit you better.
  • Notice one of you has to justify your actions (e.g., where you go, who you see.)
  • Notice one partner feels obligated to have sex or has been forced to do sexual things or have sex when they don’t want to.
  • Have a lack of privacy and may be forced to share everything with the other person.
  • You or your partner refuse to use safer sex methods.
  • Notice arguments are not settled fairly.
  • Experience yelling or physical violence during an argument.
  • Attempt to control or manipulate each other.
  • Notice your partner attempts to control how you dress and criticises your behaviour.
  • Do not make time to spend with one another.
  • Have no common friends or have a lack of respect for each other’s friends and family.
  • Notice an unequal control of resources (e.g., food, money, home, car, etc.).
  • Experience your partner demanding you give them money for things that they want.
  • Experience a lack of fairness and equality.

Best Practice

Good practice guides:

NSPCC.

Relationships and Sex Education and Health Education – Statutory Guidance.

Resources

Sheffield Young People’s DASH (Domestic Abuse Stalking and Honour Based Abuse risk assessment checklist and guidance)

Resources for children and young people from Women’s Aid.

Resources for young people from government campaign (archived).

Love don't feel bad is a website aimed at young women by Women’s Aid

Your best friend – Safe Lives campaign and resources to get friends to talk to each other about healthy / unhealthy relationships

Expect Respect Educational Toolkit (Women’s Aid).

PSHE Association Resources: key stage 1 – 2, key stage 3, and key stage 4

SafeLives healthy relationships work with young people

Educational Toolkit.

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Page Updated: 11 December 2022

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